Toxic to Fulfilling: Surround Yourself with the Right People

Most of us feel that we’re not enough.

From an early age, we’re all bombarded with messages that we need to do more and be more in order for society to accept us. Whether it’s the billboard we see every morning on our way to work, or the onslaught of commercials before every video we watch. Even our favorite influencers tell us who we ‘should’ be.

As a result, we live in a constant state of feeling we don’t measure up.

I first became aware of these subconscious judgments in myself when I died.

Before my heart stopped beating a flood of regrets washed over me. I realized I had lived my life entirely wrong. I was always afraid of what others thought of me instead of staying true to myself. Fear had been the driving force of my life.

I’ll never forget the agony and despair I felt in that moment. I had missed my chance to live my best life. I knew what I needed to do differently, but it was too late.

I was experiencing hell.

When I miraculously woke up after my near death experience, I promised to change my ways. I started by forgiving myself for everything: the way I look, speak, dress, write. By accepting my true self, I discovered a love for everything I am. I realized I am enough. And once I decided to lead from this place of power…

… I found heaven.

Here’s how to surround yourself with positive people who uplift and empower you:

Never Forget: You Are Enough

Before you can find others to support you, you have to support yourself.

So many people struggling with self-worth don’t realize the root of confidence stems from being surrounded by people who encourage that way of thinking. The cliche that you’re a reflection of the five people you spend the most time with is true. And what’s worse, until you become aware of these external factors having a negative impact on your life, you’ll remain in a vicious cycle that’s both unfulfilling and toxic.

It took me a long time to figure this out for myself. After my tragedy, certain people whom I loved told me no one would want to hear my story.

But the most important thing you can do is believe you’re enough. Wholeheartedly.

You don’t need another degree, another accolade, or praise from your boss or media outlets. You’re already worthy just by being yourself.

When you have an unyielding conviction in yourself, people sense this. They recognize your strengths and the value you bring because you’re already confident in yourself. They trust you.

It’s not easy to get to this place, and it takes a tremendous amount of courage to walk your truth.

But don’t falter, no matter what. You were always good enough, and you will always be good enough.

Set Boundaries And Stick To Them

To stand strong in your worth, you need to shut out all the noise that tells you otherwise.

For many, this is difficult. It can mean leaving a job, a relationship, even taking a break from friends and family. Cutting people off might sound drastic, but negativity can be so overpowering that extreme measures are sometimes necessary.

The year after my heart transplant, I was in tremendous pain. I was fighting for my life. I decided to focus 100% of my energy on healing and recovery. And I needed my surroundings to be nothing but positive, beautiful, and empowering.

So I told everyone in my life that for the next year, I couldn’t hear any negativity from them: no complaining about their day, no griping about their jobs, nothing.

When you set boundaries like this, you’re giving the people in your life the power to choose whether or not they want to stay in your life.

To my shock, nobody wanted to join me.

I felt alone and terrified. It was devastating to walk away from my closest friends and a few family members.

But once my pain wore off, I achieved a level of focus and conviction I had never felt before. Letting go of other people’s negativity allowed me to soar to new heights. By breaking free from negativity, you can surround yourself with people who make you feel how you want to feel.

Surround Yourself with How You Want To Feel

Walking away from your old life will leave a void. You have to define how you want your new relationships to feel. Then you have to seek this out.

For me, because I wanted to find supportive and nurturing relationships, I listened to relaxation and motivational tapes each day. I liked to sit by a lake, letting the soothing sounds of nature comfort me.

After a few months, this positivity started to replace all the negative chatter that had been in my head for decades. I started live streaming my story on Periscope and Facebook, and I made friends who aligned with my new mindset.

And my entire life shifted for the better.

For example, I met Grant Cardone, a multi-millionaire real-estate mogul and New York Times bestselling author who shared me with his following. Grant’s friendship made me realize that the people I had been surrounding myself with had been holding me back.

And since rebuilding my sense of self-worth, networking with high-quality leaders, and organically reaching millions through national and international media channels, many of these old friendships have come back into my life. It’s up to me to determine who is able to embrace the new and empowered woman I have become.

My new heart gave me an opportunity for a beautiful new life, but you don’t need to die to have an awakening.

The biggest thing holding us back is that we allow the people around us to dictate our truth. If you break free from that, you can walk around knowing that you’re already a beautiful soul.

You are enough.

 

By Cherie Aimee

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